The Addiction of Busyness & Power of Stillness

I am a busy person.  And I know I’m not alone.  And I’m also not bragging, I swear.  Stick with me.

Not only am I busy, but I am surrounded by busy people who can truly get some stuff done.  I have been for my entire life.  If I’m honest, I thrive on my busyness.  I think our society does, too. I often find myself and other busy people complaining about our ‘hectic schedules’ and our ‘crazy days’ with a hint of pride.  But we are also tired and out of touch with ourselves.  What gives?

What I am learning is that if we find ourselves whining about our busy lives, but cannot sit still for a minute, there is something wrong.

Ouch.

“Hi, my name is Gina and I’m addicted to busyness.”

Recognizing we have a problem is the first step to recovery, right?!

This morning I took a pause.  I woke up and I told my mind which was starting to race:  STOP.  I left my phone and Apple watch in my room.  I didn’t turn on any music and I made a cup of coffee.  Being it was a beautiful, sunny morning, I let the animals outside and I laid on my hammock.  I rarely do this, but I really should!  Then I intentionally forced all the bouncing thoughts away and I was just still.

Ahhhhh.

The truth is, I am a bit afraid of being alone with myself.  But I’m going to work on this.

Let’s talk about “monkey mind”.

This term is repeatedly mentioned in a book I read a very long time ago, Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. Goldberg is an influential writing teacher, who is admired for adopting spiritual Zen teachings in writing practices, Goldberg explains:

Monkey mind is a Buddhist term… Something that creates busyness to keep us away from our true heart. Our whole culture is built on busyness. And that’s why we are so unhappy. But we love busyness. We have to understand it. There’s busyness, there’s monkey mind, and there’s our true heart. What does our true heart want? We have to give it at least 50 percent. Otherwise, we fill our whole life with busyness. I have to do this, I’m going here, I’m making that. Daily life is very seductive. Weeks go by and we forget who we are.

Goldberg’s passage made me pause for a moment. It is a wakeup call in our modern society which worships productivity and speed. Productivity is a blessing if it helps us to reach our dreams. Productivity is a curse if it distracts us from enjoying the present and being in touch with ourselves.

There is also some great advice from the renowned Zen Buddhist monk, Thick Nhat Hanah, who gives an antidote for the challenge of stillness is his book called, Peace Is Every Step.

Lucidly and beautifully written, Peace Is Every Step contains commentaries, meditations, personal anecdotes, and stories from Nhat Hanh’s experiences as a peace activist, teacher, and community leader. It begins where the listener already is – in the kitchen, office, driving a car, walking – and shows how deep meditative presence is available now. Nhat Hanh provides exercises to increase our awareness of our own body and mind through conscious breathing, which can bring immediate joy and peace. Nhat Hanh also shows how to be aware of relationships with others and of the world around us, its beauty and its pollution and injustice.

A great article in Forbes by Alice G. Walton lays out 8 science-based tricks for quieting The Monkey Mind:

1.           Learn to Meditate

Studies have shown that mindfulness meditation can actually deactivate the brain regions that are thought to underlie mind chatter and can actually change the structure of the brain.

2.           Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)

The research for CBT is solid.  It shows time and time again its effectiveness in treating a range of mental health issues, not the least of which is the negative voices in our heads.  It reaches a person to recognize negative thought processes and then to replace them. 

3.           Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is different than meditation.  It means pulling ourself back into the current moment instead of focusing on the thoughts in one’s head.

4.           Color, Count, Recite, Run

The adult coloring book craze has some merit.  So does saying a mantra, running/walking.  There can be a benefit to focusing attention on a thing or activity other than our rambling thoughts. Here’s a link to buy a coloring book if you want to give this a try!

5.           Talk to an actual person.  Barring that, write.

There is a definite difference between the talking in your head and talking to a person.  Writing and journaling can be similar.  Creating a narrative outside of your head can help wrap your head around what’s going on, quieting the mind chatter.

6.           Practice Acceptance

Radical acceptance is freeing yourself from the struggle of what cannot be changed.  It teaches to cope and deal with things beyond your control and approach issues from a place of understanding.

7.           Get outside yourself by helping others

Monkey Mind can be very self-absorbed.  If you can focus your mind on others, you can diminish the chatter in your head.

8.           “Defuse” the rhetoric

Our intrusive thoughts can be rhetorical and abstract.  Cognitive defusion is a technique that reframes thoughts.  Instead of saying over and over, “Life is meaningless”, say “I’m having a thought that life is meaningless”.  Take the steam out of your negative thoughts.

In closing, know that there is a balance.  Of course, there are to-dos and things that need to be accomplished each day and week.  But staying consistently busy, making our lives busier than they must be, and thriving on busyness is not good for us, just like overindulging in other activities. Taking a pause to be mindful, still and in the moment can help with balance and perspective.  (Try a hammock like I do from time to time. Amazon has some great ones!)