Friendship is a Lifeline…
Sometimes the best medicine doesn’t come from a doctor’s office, a book, or a big breakthrough conversation. Sometimes it comes muddled with mint, poured over ice, and shared at a beach rental with two of your oldest friends.
I spent the first week of September in Virginia Beach with Chelsea and Lisa, two of my childhood friends. We’ve known each other long enough to remember perms, cassette tapes, and the thrill of sneaking into a PG-13 movie. Through all those years, our friendship has stretched and shifted — but one thing hasn’t changed: when we get together, we find a rhythm that feels like coming home.
This year, the rhythm came with a twist of lime. Lisa declared mojitos the “official drink of healing,” and soon, it became our running joke and ritual.
Why Rituals Matter in Friendship
Friendship rituals don’t have to be fancy. They don’t even have to involve cocktails. It could be the same coffee shop you always meet at, the way you take a walk together after dinner, or the playlist you build on every road trip. These small, repeatable acts become anchors — especially during seasons when life feels heavy.
For us, the mojito became a reminder that healing isn’t always about talking it out. Sometimes it’s about being in it together — laughing until your stomach hurts, walking the shoreline at sunrise, or raising a glass to the fact that, despite the years and the miles, we still find our way back to each other.
Rituals work because they take something ordinary — a drink, a song, a Saturday morning call — and infuse it with shared meaning. Over time, they create a shorthand of belonging: I’m here. You’re here. We’re in this together.
Grief and Laughter, Side by Side
This trip wasn’t just about mojitos and ocean breezes. Each of us carried our own version of grief — the losses we’ve lived through, the changes we didn’t ask for, the ache that midlife seems to deliver whether we’re ready or not.
And yet, sitting together on the beach, sipping our “official drink of healing,” we found a way to laugh. Not because the hard stuff disappeared, but because laughter and grief aren’t opposites. They’re companions. One doesn’t cancel out the other; they coexist.
That’s the magic of a friendship ritual: it gives you permission to hold both. To cry, to laugh, to sip, to sigh — and to know you don’t have to do any of it alone.
Creating Your Own Ritual
You don’t need a beach house or a muddler to create this kind of connection. Here are a few ways you can weave rituals into your friendships:
- Pick a signature drink or snack. Every time you meet, make it “your thing.” (Think: mojitos, chai lattes, nachos, or even gummy bears.)
- Create a recurring tradition. Taco Tuesdays, Sunday morning walks, annual holiday movies — it doesn’t matter what it is, only that it’s consistent.
- Name it. Part of what made the mojito ritual stick was Lisa calling it out. Once it had a name — “the official drink of healing” — it became bigger than the glass itself.
- Keep it simple. Rituals don’t have to be planned weeks in advance. They’re often the smallest, easiest habits that stand the test of time.
The Invitation
Midlife is full of transitions — kids moving out, parents needing more care, careers shifting, health challenges popping up. In the middle of all that, friendships can be lifelines. But they don’t thrive by accident. They grow through intention, presence, and yes, sometimes a little ritual.
So here’s your invitation: think about the friends who matter most to you. What ritual could you start — or revive — with them? It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be yours.
Because one day, when life feels heavy and you need a reminder that you’re not alone, that ritual might be the very thing that carries you.
Closing Thought
For me, the mojito won’t ever just be a cocktail again. It will be a symbol of laughter echoing off a Virginia Beach balcony, of grief and joy sharing the same seat, and of friendships that prove — year after year — that rituals matter.
So here’s to muddled mint, lime, and the kind of friends who remind you that healing doesn’t always need words. Sometimes it just needs presence.
💭 Your Turn: What’s your ritual with friends that always makes life better?